Speaking the word Sex in front of your family members or even in public (if you have ever) creates a ‘Haw’ moment for everyone. Isn’t it? I think that this is the story of almost every Indian conservative family. And ironically, all this happens in a country like India, which is also the second most populated country in the world! Whether a girl or a boy, talking about sex education is equally important for both but is hardly done.
So, it is like Indians love to have sex but, don’t talk about it. They love to watch porn but never permit their children to have access to it. Sex and Irony are more or less synonyms in India!
Why is Talking About Sex Education Important?
But, jokes apart, all this leads to severe consequences. Unwanted pregnancy, STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) and other infections, dissatisfactory sex life, and crimes like sexual harassment or rape are also some of the examples of the issues which arise due to improper sex education.
Hence, talking about sex education to children is a matter of extreme importance which is hardly recognized by the Indian social institutions.
So, if you wish to take the initiative of sexually educating your children, the following tricks can help you.
1. Find Out The Right Age
In the context of sex education, there is no right age for it. As per the experts, the early you sexually educate your child, the better is his sexual behavior in the future.
Also, if a person from a young age, develops a progressive, practical, and ethical attitude towards sex, he seems quite less likely to indulge in sexual crimes or other related unethical activities.
In a country like India where even PDA (Public Display of Affection) is not appreciated, and hence sex is an extremely private affair, talking about sex to children becomes even more important.
A child of five may not be able to understand anything much about sex, but a twelve-year-old would surely understand it. Hence, one should sexually educate their children before or as soon as they enter into the phase of adolescence or teenage. The ideal age for a child to get sex education is 11-13 years.
2. Be Confident, When Talking About Sex Education
Now, this is the problem that almost everyone faces, especially Indians. How to initiate a conversation about sex, and that too with children who would hardly understand anything in metaphors or symbolism and could also judge you! But, the only way to get rid of fear is to face it.
And this is what you are supposed to do even here. Understand how important such conversations are for the children, take it as the need of the hour. Else, it will be too late. Hence, do not hesitate and go for it because it is important!
3. Build Trust And Friendship
This is one of the most important points. Make sure that you are friendly enough with your children so that they could feel free to talk to you about sex.
Pull yourself down to their level to make them understand such a sensitive subject in the easiest possible way. Also, building trust is extremely important. This is because most of the children feel the fear of getting judged by their parents during such conversations.
Hence, assure them first that they would not be judged and scolded for anything so that they may feel comfortable.
4. Pick Up References When Talking About Sex Education
Finding a reason or a reference point is an excellent method to talk to children about sex.
For instance, if there is a pregnant female in the family you may mention her, or any such scene from the movie can also be picked up, etc. All this can greatly help you to initiate the conversation and also make things understand in a better way.
5. Start With The Basics
We always start with the basics. So, when it comes to sex education, start with making children aware of the genitals. Make them understand what are they meant for.
Menstruation, etc, are the concepts that could be introduced to the children at the initial stages of the conversation. Later, you may proceed with the concepts of reproduction, and then reproductive health. This would help your children to understand things well.
6. Let Your Child Take The Lead
When talking about sex education to children, another thing to keep in mind is that you should allow your child to think, form queries and ask you for answers.
Let them proceed further. This would not only make their concepts clearer but would also help you to know how much is your child aware of sex.
Also Read: The Void: A Poem
7. Normalize, When Talking About Sex Education
Children when the first encounter with the concept of sex and its education either find it awkward or take it something which is unusual or not general. Also, some stay excessively curious about it.
It differs from one individual to another. But, none of it is the right attitude to perceive sex and its education. One should take it as something very natural and normal.
Make children understand that sex is being talked about much in the ancient Indian culture( you may mention Kamasutra for this) and sex education was once upon a time, a part of the course curriculum in the educational institutions.
Hence, it is the responsibility of the parents to make their children understand that all this a very normal and important part of life.
8. Give Examples While Talking About Sex Education
Instances and examples can greatly help when it comes to talking about sex education to children.
Textbooks, diagrams, and even personal anecdotes can be used for better explanations. But, during this, you keep in mind that such examples should not sound obscene or vulgar. Remember, every child has to perceive sex as a regular act of adult life and not as something vulgar.
9. Sex- Not Just a Pleasurable Activity!
Sex is, after all, a medium of reproduction. Also, for ages, it has been associated with pleasure. With time, importance to sexual needs is also being given.
But, in this world where casual sex and pre-marital sex are gaining much popularity, people many times, tend to get irresponsible towards it. STDs and unwanted pregnancy are consequences of such carelessness. Also, sex without consent is also a common thing now found.
And all this is because of the lack of sex education in the country which empowers an individual to be sensitive and careful about both the individual’s and the partner’s sex life. So, never forget to mention it to your child that sex is an act of responsibility and is not just a pleasurable activity.
10. Love And Sex Are Different!
During adolescence, it is a common thing that teens tend to misunderstand physical attraction with love as all this is quite new to them at this age. Hence, this is also the time to make them understand how less is love and sex, related to each other.
Love is a spiritual emotion that lasts long, while sex is a physical activity to satiate an individual’s needs arising due to physical attraction towards the other sex.
It is temporary and much inferior to love. All this would not only help your child to understand the real definition of sex but in a way would also improve his/her love life too much extent.
11. Teach, Not Restrict
While talking about sex education to the children, make sure that you are not imposing any restrictions upon your child with respect to his/her future sexual behavior.
All that the parents should do is to teach the right thing, and warn them if they face any danger in the future. But, forming guidelines for the teen’s sexual life is not a solution. Let your child learn, perceive, and make his/her own decisions for his/her sex life.
Therefore, talking about sex education to children is definitely not an easy thing. But, with a little extra effort and strong determination, things can be made easier. Also, a cordial bond and proper coordination between you and your child would greatly help you make educate your child sexually. So, do not hesitate and go for it!
qwLet us know in the comments if we missed out on anything before talking about sex education to your children?
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