Short Stories

Poison Touch

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Anjani Haripriya Vishnubhatla

Poison Touch:

Every touch

cannot be magical

the world cannot always be

flowers & fragrance.

You taught with growing time

not to love my favourite beaches,

not to find comfort in my home

to hell, not to love my body

because it wasn’t the way it was

since you left it bruised.

to my favourite beach

poison touch

I went with you,

the first date ever,

I was in love

I was in love with the whole idea of being in love with you

I pictured a perfect fit on my heart

with ends of infinities

matching our souls.

My heart sank like I would

in the ocean right in front of us

and then you touched me

It was ecstatic

the vibrations my body felt

can not be inked

into pretty words

because the feeling was filling in itself.

You touched my hand,

run your tips on my arms,

and we kissed.

Wait

don’t go so fast, I’m not liking it.

stop

you’re hurting me!

You made a bed

out of the sand beneath us

& let the Moon

witness the horror

of my first date.

poison touch

Second date.

you convinced me that what we had was meant to be,

and what I had was the best you gave.

I was convinced,

because I was in love with you

I was in love with the idea of being in love with you.

In the cinema

corner seats & a sleeveless top

topless moves &

hopeless screams

your fingers were not meant to be there.

first time I was touched there.

why would you do such a thing to me?

All I wanted was a kiss. Just, a kiss.

That day you said I was my own kind of pretty.

The kind to be eaten in bed,

the kind to kiss in the kitchen &

to paint in red

tongue that is hell on my neck

flesh to be drawn out

body hijacked

hands roped

mouth gagged

screams shut

every part fingered

Why did you damage so much of me?

My bedsheets remind me

that I was hurt on them,

when all they should remind me

how peacefully i slept last night on them,

but jokes on me,

I did not sleep peacefully eversince.

Third date. Never happened.

every meeting was

a walk-in sex program you seemed to enjoy a lot

You say I look so much like the girl you saw in your dreams,

the one to kill your pain of the past,

the one to heal your scars.

what about the scars you gave me?

what about my past that you worsened?

I am shut down every night

by the thought of being under you.

I hate the Moon for seeing

me naked on my first date.

I hate the sand for not covering me

Oh I hate the ocean for not drowning me that evening.

It happens often. The shutting down and the blacking out. Thanks to you, I know the reason is you.

Two years later I am in my bed,

reading my favorite book from the time you left me.

The one that talks about scars,

the one that kills pain with pain.

I look behind and still see you,

staring at me in my loose clothes you bought me for our anniversary

You said it was easy to get me out of them

your absence is killing me as much as your presence did.

Five years later I am with the love of my life. He is so much better than you.

I am not gagged,

not bruised,

no shut down

no black out.

I am asleep & not hurt

my sheets like my peace

but i still cannot kiss him

without thinking

about that night under the Moon

How do I tell him why

on the nights he asks me to go out

when I refuse to see the Moon

to see the stars,

that I am ashamed of them

for not blinding it down

for not giving me a way to escape.

how do I tell him why

on the days he asks me to go out

to watch movies we liked

when i refuse to sit on those seats,

that I am ashamed of them

for not breaking then

at least you would be fined for the damage

to the seats

and me.

and when last night I felt like making love

to the love of my life

I let out screams that were unheard

from the last time you left me naked

now how do i tell him

that on times when i cry

naked and tangled in him,

it is because of you

who left me with your poison touch.

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